For the Love of Stills

My name is Stills. My momma has told me our story so many times, I know it by heart. I was born at an animal sanctuary along with my brothers Crosby and Nash. We all got adopted, including our birth mom, but while I was still a puppy, I wasn’t feeling so good so my family took me to the doctor and they found out I was a diabetic. I didn’t know what that meant, by my family returned me to the sanctuary.

I learned I am a Type 1 diabetic, and I have to have shots twice a day. If you do it right, it doesn’t hurt so bad and I get treats after my shots. I loved the people at my sanctuary so much. Everyone was so good to me. But every time I would get a kennel mate to play with, my friend got adopted! They used to call me their “lucky charm” because everyone they put in with me got adopted, but no one wanted to adopt me because of my condition. And they had to be very careful who they put in my kennel with me because a high energy friend would overwhelm me and my blood sugar would go out of control. And I could not put on weight, no matter how hard they tried. So I was underweight and not allowed to go for long walks because my humans didn’t want me to lose weight. I was pretty skinny, even though I got good food and special treats.

When I was almost two years old, I met a new person. At the sanctuary, they call them “volunteers.” We don’t have enough people to take care of all of us so volunteers come in and help out so we can get special attention and go for walks (or get lots of petting if you’re a kitty). This lady volunteer started spending more and more time with me. Every time she was there, she would make sure she spent at least an hour with me. She knew I wasn’t allowed to take long walks, so she would take one of these big contraptions they call golf carts (cuz our sanctuary is really BIG), and I would get to go for rides on her lap around the sanctuary. Oh, how I loved those rides with “Auntie Jill.” (That’s what she said her name was.) I was always so sad when she had to go home. Why didn’t she take me with her?

Finally, Auntie Jill told me that she had three kitties at home. One of her kitties was named “Starr,” but Auntie Jill called her Starshine. Starshine had run away from her last home because her family brought home a little dog. I guess Starshine didn’t care for the dog (who doesn’t care for dogs?) and she kept running to Auntie Jill’s house.. Auntie Jill and Starshine’s family finally agreed that Auntie Jill would now become Starshine’s momma. So Auntie Jill told me that as much as she loved me, she couldn’t bring a dog home, even one as special as me, because she just could not to that to her Starshine. So that’s why Auntie Jill spent so much time with me. She said she prayed that I would get adopted by a very special family.

Well, a couple years went by and nobody adopted me. Then one day, Auntie Jill came to me, very depressed. She lost her Starshine to cancer. And she cried and cried into my fur. We still spent time together, but she still didn’t take me home. But then about five months after losing her Starshine, Auntie Jill told me she used to pray that someone would adopt me, but now she was really afraid someone would adopt me and she would never see me again. Sooooo…….after I spent almost five years at the sanctuary, Auntie Jill adopted me! She became my momma! What a happy, happy day for me and everyone at the sanctuary. Everyone was so happy for me. I got so many hugs and kisses! And I get to go back to my second home every time Momma volunteers at the sanctuary, so I get to see so many people who love me!

I have been with Momma for two years now. I turn seven years old next month. Momma says we have had the time of our lives, but it’s also been a pretty rough two years. Momma says my diabetes has always been hard to control and that I’m a very special diabetic because it’s very unusual for a puppy to be diagnosed with diabetes. We have become very good friends with everybody at my hospital, and they take very, very good care of me. In fact, after being with Momma for only three days, I was in the hospital with something called pancreatitis (Momma says that is something that diabetics – both people and dogs – often get). But I was only there a couple days and Momma visited me twice a day. And then a couple months later I was back, this time with something called a urinary tract infection. Again, I was there a couple days. By that time I’d gotten to know my doctors and the sweet ladies who help him (Momma says they’re vet techs).

Momma started introducing me to wonderful things. We’d ride in the car, go to the park, go to the store where I could pick out toys, and one of my most favorite places of all – the beach! Oh, my! There were other dogs to meet, so many fun smells, long walks, and naps on Momma’s lap. Momma had to coax me into the water, and I only like it up to my legs, but Momma won’t let anything happen to me. I started putting on weight and I could walk one or two miles at a time! I was so strong!!

We were so happy together. I had a issue with my tail, something called “vasculitis.” I had lost the very tip of my tail to vasculitis when I was a baby and it had flared up so I had a big bandage on my tail and was being treated for that. And then I got sick. Thanksgiving weekend (2015) we had gone to an event for the sanctuary. I wasn’t feeling quite right. Momma said I had a restless night and in the morning, when I didn’t eat my breakfast, Momma took me to the hospital. They admitted me. It was a Sunday, so when my doctor came in the next day (Momma says he’s a specialist), they did something called an ultrasound on my tummy and found it was filled with pus. Momma got a call that I was being rushed into emergency surgery with sometime called “necrotizing pancreatitis,” which meant my pancreas was leaking pus into my belly. She rushed in to see me before I had my operation.

Momma tried to be brave, but I could tell she was scared. She kept telling me everything would be all right and that so many people were praying for me. I made it through the surgery, but I still felt really sick and it hurt. I had to stay in the hospital for 12 long days, but Momma visited me twice a day and got to stay with me as long as she wanted. I guess I was a very sick little dog, but I really, really wanted to be with my momma so I got better. Everyone called me a Christmas miracle. I got to go home with lots of medicine and Nurse Momma. But when I got home, I had trouble eating. My food would get stuck in my throat and I would throw up. I guess all the tubes and stuff I had down my esophagus, and something they called regurgitation, scarred my esophagus and food couldn’t go down. So I had to have a procedure called a balloon endoscopy. I didn’t feel it because I was asleep. It would help for a few days, but then I would throw up again, even though Momma was putting my food through a blender and hand feeding me so I wouldn’t eat too fast. I had to have seven (I counted them) of these procedures over several months. Each time I got a little better. Finally, the doctor said “no more.” He said I could live perfectly well on blended food, which I do! Momma had to change things around about how I eat, but we make it work. (Oh….and my tail healed!)

But then…..it was discovered I couldn’t see too well. Although I was only six years old, I had developed cataracts because of my diabetes. So they waited until I was really strong again. (Momma got me fattened up and walking again so I would get my strength back.) Then I had the eye surgery, which wasn’t easy because the doctor said she had to chisel one of the cataracts off my eye. I had to stay at the hospital overnight. (Momma was pretty distraught because at the same time, my kitty brother, Nacho, was in the hospital at the same time with something they hadn’t identified yet. But don’t worry, he got all better.) When I got home, Momma had lots of different eye drops that she had to put in my eyes, which I really didn’t like. But then, Momma had to rush me back to the hospital because she knew I was in pain. It turns out I developed corneal ulcers in both eyes. Those hurt!! Many more eye drops. Momma was giving me about six different types of eye drops, six times a day. She had to wake me up two times every night to give me eye drops. We didn’t like it, but we did it. And then one of my eyes got infected! Back to the doctor and more medicine. I was so tired of the eye drops and medicine, and I could tell Momma was exhausted. But she never complained. Even though sometimes she cried. It made me sad because I knew she was crying about me. I tried to tell her to be strong. I think she understood because she used to tell me that if I could get through this, so could she.

During all this time, I was not allowed to go for walks, not even around the block, because the doctor was afraid something would get in my eyes and irritate them further. Momma and I were couch potatoes for a couple months. Then finally my eyes started healing and we were allowed to start walking again and going back to the beach. I still had to have eye drops, but we were down to four different eye drops, three times a day. One day, after getting my eye drops, Momma noticed one of my eyes was a little red so she told me she’d keep an eye on it. We then went to the beach. While walking on the beach, Momma looked at me and got so scared – my eye that looked a little red was now cloudy! She immediately called the vet (while we were walking on the beach), but the eye doctor was not in so they told her to bring me in the next day, which Momma did. The doctor said I had something called Spontaneous Chronic Corneal Epitheleal Defect, which meant I had another corneal ulcer…..just like that! Momma was so upset! Back on even more drops.

Well, my eyes finally healed but I ended up with scar tissue in my eyes, which means I don’t see great. The doctor says I don’t see bad, just not great. But Momma says it’s better than having cataracts and then possibly glaucoma. My eyes have all cleared up, no more white spots, and Momma says they’re as beautiful as ever. Momma just pays more attention when we’re out walking so I don’t run into small things when I’m not paying attention. And Momma has to put three different drops in my eyes three times a day forever. I still don’t like them and sometimes I hide under the table, but Momma coaxes me out with treats and I let her do it.

And then five months ago, I got sick again. We were going to another event for the sanctuary when I threw up on the way. Momma pulled over and cleaned it up. And then I threw up again…..and again. So Momma had Aunt Sharon and Uncle Edgar (my vet tech and kennel manager at the sanctuary) test my blood sugar, but it was great. But Momma could tell I didn’t feel well. So we left and went to the hospital. Again I was admitted, but it was a Saturday so my “specialist” didn’t come in until Monday. When he did that ultrasound on my tummy, I had pancreatitis again. But, Momma said “thank God” my pancreas was not leaking pus. Nothing goes easy for me, and I was in the hospital for 14 days. My pancreas slowly got better but there were problems with food getting into my tummy. I don’t know all the technical stuff…..I leave that to Momma and the doctors. Again, Momma came to see me twice a day, every day. If I can be unhooked from all my wires and tubes for awhile, my sweet vet techs take me to a room where Momma is on a couch and she can hold me the entire time. She sings to me, talks to me, and very often cries. Momma tries to be strong but I know Momma loves me so much, and she gets so tired and so scared, that she can’t help it. But, guess what? I got better!

Once I got home, Momma had to fatten me up again and get me strong by starting out with short walks. Now we walk every day, one to two miles. We’ve joined a dog-walking group where I get to meet lots of other pups. Momma is constantly looking for places to take me on new adventures. Momma took in another stray kitty (we now have three). The kitty (Momma calls her Phantom) was pregnant and gave us six babies! They were such fun. I loved to watch them and let them crawl all over me. Momma found wonderful homes for them all, got Phantom fixed, and now Phantom is my sister and my buddy.

I know I am my momma’s shadow. She tries not to be gone for long periods of time because I don’t like it. But she always tells me when she leaves that she will be back. Wherever my Momma sits, I either lie beside her on on top of her. I sleep on the pillow by her head, sometimes I put my head on top of her head to make sure she is there. Momma says that besides being her Little Man, I am her best friend. She says that as long as we’re together, we’ll be fine. I know Momma will always have to take me to the doctor, but as long as she is there, I’ll try not to be scared. I know I have so many aunts and uncles who love me. (Momma says more people love me than love her, but she says she’s just fine with that!)

I don’t know how many times a day Momma says she loves me, I think a bazillion. She says I am her heart and her reason for being. I am so very happy Momma adopted me, but Momma says I adopted her. We are together. That’s all that matters.