Bullmastiffs, with their muscular bodies, expressive eyes, and wrinkled brows, are a breed like no other. Yet, these gentle giants come with a host of idiosyncrasies that can baffle even the most seasoned dog owners. Without further ado, let’s dive into the eight problems only a Bullmastiff owner would understand.
1. The Drool Diaries
As a Bullmastiff owner, you will quickly discover that drool is an omnipresent part of your life. It’s on your walls, your clothes, and if you’re really unlucky, in your hair. A ‘drool rag’ becomes a must-have accessory. You’ll learn the art of dodging mid-air drool, a skill not many can boast of!
2. The Vanishing Food Phenomenon
Bullmastiffs, despite their intimidating size, are experts at making food disappear at an alarming speed. They can inhale a full bowl of kibble faster than you can say “Bon Appétit.” As an owner, you’ll marvel at this culinary magic trick, while also ensuring your pantry is always well-stocked.
3. The Snoring Symphony
Bullmastiffs are known to be rather vocal when they sleep. They snore, and they snore LOUDLY. Their snores can reach decibel levels you didn’t know were possible from a non-mechanical source. Earplugs might become a crucial part of your nightly routine.
4. The “I’m a Lap Dog” Delusion
In your Bullmastiff’s head, they are a lap dog, despite weighing over 100 pounds. Be prepared for an occasional (or frequent) squashing when your furry friend decides it’s cuddle time. Your lap is their personal throne, and they’ll take every opportunity to claim it.
5. The Space Invasion
Bullmastiffs aren’t particularly aware of their large size. They’ll try to squeeze through tight spaces or navigate narrow paths, often resulting in knocked over vases or upturned furniture. Your living space may look like a hurricane hit it every now and then, but remember, your Bullmastiff is just exploring!
6. The Shedding Storm
Despite their short coats, Bullmastiffs shed a lot. Your vacuum cleaner will work overtime and lint rollers will become a mainstay in your household. Your wardrobe will also undergo a transformation – every piece of clothing you own will inevitably be adorned with Bullmastiff fur.
7. The Big Dog, Big Appetite Rule
With great size, comes an even greater appetite. Bullmastiffs can devour impressive quantities of food. Their pleading eyes will convince you that they are starving, even if they’ve just eaten. Portion control is your ally in this ongoing battle against their pleading eyes and wagging tails.
8. The Fart Bomb Surprises
There’s no delicate way to put this – Bullmastiffs can be gassy. Their farts can clear a room faster than a fire alarm. As an owner, you’ll learn to detect the signs of an impending fart and evacuate the premises in time, a skill you never thought you’d need.
Owning a Bullmastiff is like signing up for a lifetime of laughter, love, and countless surprises. These dogs will challenge you, amuse you, and fill your life with their larger-than-life presence. But, when your gentle giant looks at you with their loving, soulful eyes, you know you wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. To all Bullmastiff owners out there – remember, the bigger the dog, the bigger the love they have to give!
Toledo, United States.
