Newfoundlands, or “Newfies,” as they’re affectionately known, are gentle giants with a heart of gold. But owning one of these huggable beasts comes with its own unique set of challenges. Let’s dive into the eight problems that only a Newfoundland owner would understand.
1. The Slobber Saga
As a Newfoundland owner, you quickly learn that slobber is just another form of home decor. It’s on your clothes, your furniture, and occasionally, on your dinner plate. Saying goodbye to a slobber-free existence is part of the Newfoundland owner’s rite of passage. Always keep a towel handy, and perhaps a good sense of humor, because you’re in for a drool-filled ride!
2. The Mystery of the Perpetually Wet Beard
Newfies have a habit of turning water bowls into mini swimming pools. They drink with such gusto that their beards perpetually drip water. The result? A trail of water across your floor that looks like an abstract artist’s dream but feels more like a slip-and-slide from hell. Waterproof flooring, anyone?
3. The “Move Over, It’s My Bed” Rule
Despite your best efforts to buy the biggest dog bed out there, your Newfie has decided that your bed is much better. No matter how much you squirm, adjust, or protest, they will always find a way to occupy 80% of the bed space. Remember: in the Newfoundland playbook, sharing is not caring.
4. The Shedding Season aka Every Season
Newfies are known for their heavy coats, and boy, do they like to share it! You’ll find dog hair in places you didn’t know dog hair could reach. It will become a part of your morning cereal routine, and you might as well start including “vacuuming” as a part of your daily workout.
5. The Infinite Energy Paradox
Newfoundlands are a fascinating paradox. They have the physique of a couch potato but the energy level of a puppy. Once they are in the mood to play, you will witness your gentle giant transform into an oversized whirlwind of energy. Invest in some sturdy toys and make sure your homeowner’s insurance covers “dog-related chaos”.
6. The Lap Dog Illusion
Despite weighing up to 150 pounds, Newfies firmly believe they are lap dogs. They will attempt to curl up on your lap, causing your legs to protest and possibly surrender. Just remember, in their minds, they are still the size of the adorable puppies you first brought home.
7. The Unending Mud Attraction
A Newfoundland’s magnetic attraction to mud is something to behold. They have an uncanny knack for locating the muddiest spot in any given location. Say goodbye to your dreams of keeping your house, your car, or your clothes clean during a walk in the park.
8. The Biscuit-Snatching Prowess
Newfoundlands are excellent at counter-surfing, thanks to their impressive height. Turn your back for a second, and they’ll have swiped that sandwich you were sure was out of reach. Remember to always keep food items away unless you plan on cooking for two!
Being a Newfoundland owner is a unique blend of laughter, love, and a constant battle against dog hair and slobber. You’ll need a sturdy vacuum cleaner, an endless supply of cleaning rags, and a limitless sense of humor. But the joy and companionship these big, lovable dogs offer make every “Newfie problem” totally worth it. Here’s to Newfoundland owners – the true heroes in a world where slobber reigns supreme!
Toledo, United States.
