Sure, dogs can hold you down. Their lonesome puppy eyes can guilt you out of long weekends, spontaneous nights out, and even vacations. But the “pooch excuse” can also get you out of sticky social situations that you’d prefer to cut short or avoid altogether. Here, five common scenarios where having a dog particularly comes in handy:
1. Bailing On A Bad Date
You’re a half hour into dinner when you realize you’re on the date from Hell. As your date continues to blather on about politics that you don’t agree with, an idea pops into your head: you *conveniently* forgot to feed your helplessly hungry doggy. “Oh man, I just realized, I need to give Fifi dinner or else she’ll eat the coach again!” Before you can get a response, grab your coat and run!
2. Avoiding An Impromptu Sleepover
You’re out having a blast with your friends when the DD suggests you all just “crash” at their place for the night. Everyone else seems game, but the thought of sleeping on a stained couch or unswept floor makes the germaphobe inside you cry out a little bit. You don’t want to be a party pooper, but all you can think about is snuggling up in your own comfy, cozy bed. Don’t fear, dog is here. “Aw shucks, I can’t leave Mr. Fluffbottom home alone all night. He’ll destroy the house! I’ll grab a cab.”
3. Ducking Out Of An Uncomfortable Conversation
You’re walking your tail-wagger when you spot your mom’s endlessly chatty friend, Kathy, coming right toward you. You pull up your hood and try desperately to avoid eye contact, but it’s too late; she’s already seen you. After a few minutes of unpleasant pleasantries, nudge your dog with your foot so that he starts to squirm, and say, “Oh look, Shiloh is getting a little antsy, so I better head out. It was great seeing you, and I’ll tell Mom you said ‘hi’!” Then for added measure, pull the poop bag from your pocket. No one will want to stick around to see how you use it.
4. Dodging Obligatory Commitments
When your next door neighbor asks if you’re free to babysit her crazy kids or your cousin invites you to watch her three-year-old in yet another dance recital, cue the pup. “Oh jeez I’d love to, but Rover got sprayed by a skunk earlier to today and he needs, like, three baths. Also, he’s a little traumatized. I’d better just stay home. Go have fun without me!”
5. Saying No To Plans
A healthy social life is critical for emotional well-being…but so is staying home and relaxing! If your co-workers are pressuring you to go out or an awkward acquaintance invited you to a birthday party that you just don’t want to go to, blame the dog. “Gosh, that sounds great but I’ve been out of the house all day, and Ruby is going to be nuts if I don’t spend some time playing with her. Maybe next time!”
(Plus, think of all the money you’ll save by staying home for a snuggle and Netflix sesh rather than paying for tickets, food, or drinks. Can you even resist that face?)
No matter what, at the end of the day, you’ll never regret the extra time you spend with the fuzzinator who loves you the most!
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