We love our dogs (I mean, why else would you be reading this?), but inviting them into our homes does come with a couple of hitches. Here are some of the funny, annoying, expensive habits that come with owning a dog–along with their unending love and companionship, of course! Dog owners: can you relate?
1.There is dog hair E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. If you have a hypo-allergenic dog, you can move on to point number two. But for the rest of us, we’ve learned to expect dog hair everywhere: on our rugs, our favorite cashmere sweaters, our fancy suits and dresses, stuck to the bottoms of our socks (no matter how much you vacuum), in our beds (no matter how often you change the sheets) even in our food. Yes, that’s right. We eat dog hair.
2. Your moments of silence may be far and few between. We all know that energy level depends on the dog. Chances are, your pooch is the first one to join you for a Netflix binging session if she’s feeling calm. But for some pooches, if you skip her daily walk, she’ll be bouncing off the walls, distracting you from your movie marathon. And sometimes, when you least expect it–whether you’re watching TV, reading a book, or sleeping in the middle of the night–your dog will pick his head up, cock an ear, and start barking his snout off for no apparent reason (while startling the crap out of you). Distant sounds? Unfamiliar smells? Ghosts? Who knows.
3. You are forced to spend more time outside. The second you put on your jam-jams and slippers is the second your dog decides he needs to potty outside in the year’s biggest blizzard. These are usually the times when he decides to take 25 minutes to find the perfect place to poop. On the flip side, you always have a buddy who thinks that hiking is the best idea ever, any day of the week. Whether you love or hate the great outdoors, you certainly get more fresh air than you did before getting a dog.
4. You’ve learned (the hard way) that Earthly possessions are fleeting. Your designer leather boots or your brand-new jeans are the victims of choice when your pooch has a fit of anxiety-chewing. Also, you’ve most likely given up on keeping track of all the underwear your pup has destroyed. But with one look into those big, apologetic eyes, and you remember that your love of material things is nothing compared to the love you have for your dog, no matter how naughty she may be.
5. The bed is no longer yours. Your bed becomes the dog’s bed, and you are a guest in it. That is all.
6. Separation anxiety is now a thing in your life. Whether you leave to run errands or for vacation (which you have prolonged and cancelled in order to avoid those “don’t leave me” eyes), you know you’ll miss your dog. And by the way he greets you when you come home, you know that he missed you, too.
7. And sometimes this makes leaving the house a production. If your dog is calm enough to roam the house by himself, YOU. ARE. SO. FORTUNATE. (Seriously, congratulations.) For the rest of us, we sometimes have to trick, nudge, and bribe our pups into a crate or enclosed area so they can keep themselves–and our stuff–safe when we’re away.
8. Your pup can be really messy. Rain? Snow? Dirt? MUD? Your dog loves it. And she loves bringing it inside the house with her, of course.
9. There are times when he may embarrass you a little. Sometimes, you’d swear he planned on farting in front of your friends or sniffing your crush’s butt just to make you blush. And sometimes, when he’s really got an audience, he’ll pull a weird new stunt that looks something like this:
But at the end of the day, you’ve happily accepted her paws–er, flaws–because she’s made your life about a million times better than it was before you two found each other. Warm snuggles, check. Tons of giggles, check. Best walking/hiking/road tripping buddy, check. Unconditional love, check, check, check!