I miss my dog so much that I'm bitter towards my new one

I have had to say good bye to 6 dogs and each time is a little rougher than the time before but I always had another dog in the house to help me deal with my loss. That didn’t happen with Jewel. I had Essence and Beauty for about 13 years before Essence got sick and passed away. I had Beauty for about 3 weeks before I found Jewel at an animal shelter in WV. I brought her home and 18-year old Beauty got a new lease on life! But time was not on her side and she passed away right after the New Year. I had Jewel as my only dog for 13 years. All of my dogs had their own personality but Jewel was different. She and I had a special bond so when she got cancer and passed away three years ago, I was devastated. I did everything I could to save her but the tumor was on the roof of her mouth and she stopped eating. I had run out of choices. After she was gone, I told myself that I was going to wait before getting another dog. That didn’t last long – my house was too quiet! I adopted Lexi a week later. She was only 6 mos old and I had to start all over again – training, walking on the leash, not being afraid of every noise, not gobbling her food. Sometimes I felt myself getting frustrated with her because she wasn’t Jewel. But she wasn’t Jewel – she was Lexi. She didn’t look like Jewel, she didn’t act like Jewel…she was Lexi and Lexi had her own personality. Lexi is the sweetest, most loving dog ever and I love her and can’t imagine my life without her. She has helped me deal with the loss of Jewel. It is normal to feel the way that you do but don’t let that hinder you ability to love Maximus NEEDS the love that you have in your heart and Frodo would want you to give that love to a dog that has not had the opportunity to experience the love and caring that he experienced before he passed away. You can grieve for Frodo; I still grieve for Jewel but I look at Lexi and am reminded that I have alot more love to give and Jewel would want me care for another dog the way that I cared for her. Take Care!

Forgot to identify my girls – Jewel is the german shepherd/rott mix in the top photo. Lexi is the hound mix sleeping on the furniture!

Maybe try to have some experiences with Maximus that you didn’t have with Frodo. A different park or maybe a training class? Praying for guidance and help in opening your heart to Maximus can only help too. Blessing of peace and healing for you. Let him in and he will help heal your heart I promise you!

Fromax100 , PLEASE don’t be so hard on yourself… The same happened to me when I got Winston… I went through the grieving process all over again for our beloved Willistead, who was such an amazing dog… (I probably wasn’t done grieving but we could not live in an empty house) The fact that you notice it means you are working through it… Think of Maximus as the Guardian Angel for your new dog…. and just know he is still with you…. Hugs!!! And Paws!!!
p.s. Now Winston (5 years later) is also an Amazing dog… p.s.s. It took me about a month or two to feel less guilty about having a new dog.

Fromax100, I understand what you’re feeling as do many others who have been blessed with a wonderfully long and loving relationship with their very own fur baby. We had an albino tri dap dachshund, who was born deaf from February 1996 till April 15, 2009. She had been abandoned at a Pet Smart, where I was working at for a dog food company as their representative. Someone had taped a note on her stating she was deaf as well as blind in one eye and no good for breeding. Well she came home with me without a second thought. Our 6 year old (first) grandchild named her Rugrat because she loved playing on the rug with her. Rugrat was like our child even though we had 3 sons & one granddaughter. Those four short legs and floppy ears ended up having traveled more miles by car than most humans! Last time we traveled she had accompanied us on over 175,900 miles throughout the USA, Canada and Mexico and then in Europe. Rugrat was truly our baby girl! When my husband and I knew it was time to let her go and not make her hurt, it felt like a major part of our lives & family was gone. I still have her ashes in fact they’re next (to my heart’s only love of 43+ years)my husband’s. I had a dear family friend & pastor tell me that God only loans us his V.I.P. Fur Angels to learn and feel what true unconditional, unending love and loyalty is in the hopes we would share as a tribute and honor the memories of that one who entrusted and filled our hearts with their love and soul! God never tells us how long he is loaning us his treasured angel. God only blesses special humans with them as he knows they will learn to give back to one less fortunate, so another may know what love, kindness and security is! God never makes a mistake and no person nor animal crosses the others path without his preplanning it! God has given you a rare blessing that can help you heal if you just let Maximus in. God doesn’t intend for Maximus to replace only add to love to your life. Maximus knows you’re hurting and he is also as he only wants to comfort you.
God Bless and hold you close and help you let a new love come in to honor Frodo! Dottie

I know you had an amazing relationship with Frodo, but try to think about what Max needs rather than what you’re missing. He’s had a tough life and you took him into your home to give him a better life. Frodo would want you to love Max like you loved him. Just try to keep Max’s needs at the forefront of your mind and heart. He deserves a loving home and I’m sure you’ll be able to provide him with that.. Let your heart be your guide rather than your thoughts on how much you miss Frodo. God bless you!

Look up A Dog’s Last Will and Testament. Frodo is speaking to you. I promise that when you read it, although it might make you cry for Frodo, your love for Maximus will grow leaps and bounds. Sending you both warm, loving wishes!

+I know exactly how you feel! I have had that response with almost every lost and new dog I have had. My last cocker practically crippled me when she died while I was in the hospital. I am convinced that I got another dog too soon after she died and as much as I don’t like the period you go through without a dog, it would have been therapeutic. A dog lover tends to humanize their dog and so the dog takes on a higher importance in their life. It can be as traumatic as losing a loved one or a child. Grieving is hard but does help and how do you finish grieving for one when you are trying to get used to another? I was ready to take my cocker back to the breeder at one point. I’m so glad I didn’t, though. Be sure and give your new dog a fair shake. Remember, this is a hard time for them also and they can sense when you are not shall we shay enamored with them. Your memory of the “lost” dog that you had so long will stay with you, although the grief will lessen, making more room in your heart for the new one. Also, try to develop some things that are strictly with that dog, and not so much just a repeat of the other one. That will eliminate the need for comparison on your part.

I lost my Ozzy three years ago and to this day I miss him and he will always be in my heart he like all my gone fur babies wait for me to join them and because of them I am a better person so to honor them I added two beautiful mix girls to our pack we will all be together forever when I cross the bridge I found a little saying in my grief that helps me I hope it helps you “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are. – Anonymous Love your new baby you your baby has already given you unconditional love be worthy of it.

Remember how much this dog loves and needs you! If you begrudge taking care of this dog, maybe it was too soon, and you should re-home it. Ps…. would you put a child up for adoption simply because it wasn’t as perfect as your first child? Look at the love and appreciation this dog shows you! No dog will replace your other one, like people they are all different.

best of luck

PS.. pic is my rescue dog from a georgia puppy Mill. blind from birth… my “first love” .. not my first dog, but the strongest bond …. he will always be my special boy even though he is gone now.

I feel such sympathy for someone who has lost a best fur friend. I can’t give advice because my story is a bit different. I lost my beloved Pug “Gadget” 4 years ago. I had her for 13 glorious years. She was quiet, easy to care for and independent. When I had to put her down I knew it was for her not me (she was blind, deaf, arthritic and had developed diabetes); her quality of life was non-existent. The most loving thing I could do for my girl was to let her go in peace. I knew I couldn’t deal with another dog any time soon so I waited. I waited an entire year and then I put my name on a waiting list at the local pet store for a Pug puppy. I waited 2 more years until I got a call in November of last year. They had a female pug puppy and she was the last one. I got “Velvet” and she is NOTHING like Gadget! She is needy, rambunctious, destructive and one of the most loving creatures I’ve ever come in contact with. My patience paid off. By the time I got her I was so ready for her I was and am willing to do anything to let her know she is not a replacement for Gadget rather Velvet has created a new room in my heart all her own…I am lucky to have two special friends; one is waiting for me and the other is keeping me happy while I’m in this existence.

Please talk to Frodo in your heart, and ask him to help you with the new dog. Tell Frodo that the new dog is not him, but needs help. Look to him for the answers.

Fromax, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I lost my dog Tyson last April after 15 wonderful years, he was my best friend, hell he was my only child. I have RA and have had several back surgeries and the doctor told me if I did get another dog I’d have to get a dog small than 20 lbs, to me that is not a dog. Tyson was a shepherd mix and around 80 lbs and he was my companion and protector. About a month ago, this little dog, only 2 lbs basically fell into my hands (this little puppy that someone abandoned by my house), how could I say no. But each time I look at her, all I can think of is my Tyson, when I hurt he knew, when I was sad he knew. I could lay my head on him and my worries would go away. Maybe it’s her size, I don’t know. But I felt bad thinking that this dog is no Tyson, but I have grown to love her and I know and I hope and pray that this tiny little dog will be my rock. I hope your Lab becomes what you need him/her to be. I will be thinking of you and I’m glad I read your comment, I thought I was a horrible persons to think the same.

I have had many dogs over my life and have loved every one. They are all my babies. One dog, however, was my soulmate. I got her from the humane society and had her for many years. Just looking at her, I could read her mind and vice versa. When my girl died, I felt that I had lost my best friend. But I also felt that she was still in my heart and mind. I was afraid that no other dog would ever compare. But then the thought hit me that the very best way I could honor my special girl was to give a good life to another unwanted dog. I knew that is what she wanted. Now, I have three rescue dogs and all are unique. They receive my love in honor of my special girl and the thought makes me wonderfully happy. I hope that you can love your new dog as the best way to honor your dear Frodo.

I have lost so many dogs in my life, perhaps because I can never turn one away, but each is special and I understand the hole that you have in your heart that Maximus just doesn’t quite fit into – yet. Tell Maximus about Frodo. While the two of you do the things that you and Maximus want and need to do. Listen to Frodo, when he tells you something that Maximus needs. I firmly believe that every dog that we take into our lives leave an unwritten will behind, that leaves to an unwanted, abused, neglected dog, the warm bed, the full dinner bowl, the fresh water, the human side to snuggle up to, and all of the worn toys, to be joined by new ones, that your last dog left behind. No dog, missed and well loved, would want all of this bounty to go to waste – and we know, more than anything else, that dogs are not selfish. After all, they give all of themselves to us.

Keep trying!

my sympathies – I lost my GSD 18 months and 1 week ago, and still not got over it, the memories, pictures, places. There’s sadness because they left us but now they are happy and well.
Someone said you can now give another dog a good home, which is true, and you were brave to do it; I sometimes look for another but really I just want her back….4 months ago I started dog walking for a rescue kennels, it’s nice for them to go out but not the same. Hopefully one day I will see another.
Wish you well.