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Some dogs are known for their elegance, intelligence, or agility—but then some are simply a hot, slobbery mess. If there were a group chat for drool-heavy breeds, it would be absolute chaos. Every message would be riddled with typos (because they’re trying to text with wet paws), pictures would be blurry thanks to a drool-splattered lens, and notifications would never stop. These dogs don’t just drool; they do it enthusiastically, turning your clothes, furniture, and even your phone screen into their napkins.
Saint Bernard
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Saint Bernard would be the group chat’s emotional support member, always sending encouraging messages—but you’d have to decode them through the endless typos caused by their massive, slobbery jowls. Originally bred for rescue work in the Swiss Alps, these gentle giants have a heart as big as their drool capacity. They’ll lean on you for cuddles, but be prepared—your shoulder will be drenched in seconds.
Mastiff
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Mastiffs wouldn’t send messages often, but when they did, they’d be all caps and half-eaten words because their massive lips make articulation impossible. Known for their loyalty and protective nature, these gentle giants may not be the fastest types but the heaviest droolers. If you have a Mastiff, a steady supply of towels is a must.
Bloodhound
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The Bloodhound would send voice messages instead of texts because their nose is always too busy tracking scents to type properly. These detectives of the dog world have long, floppy ears and even longer strings of drool that they fling onto anything within a five-foot radius. Their love of tracking means they’d be the ones in the chat sending random location updates—except, instead of Google Maps, it’s just a screenshot of a weird smell they found.
Newfoundland
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The Newfoundland would be the group chat’s protective big sibling, always checking in to ensure everyone is okay—while making a complete mess in the process. These water-loving dogs were bred for rescue work, but their thick jowls mean that every shake of their head sends a wave of slobber flying across the room. If you let a Newfoundland in your house, prepare for a constant wet sheen on your walls.
Boxer
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The Boxer would be the chaotic one in the group chat, sending memes, videos, and random bursts of energy at 2 a.m. These playful goofballs are known for their uncontainable enthusiasm and impressive ability to turn any surface into a drool-covered masterpiece. A Boxer’s excitement is unmatched, but so is their tendency to fling saliva when they get too worked up.
Bulldog
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The Bulldog would be the one in the chat who sends short, grumpy messages but somehow still makes everyone laugh. These wrinkly-faced pups are lovable couch potatoes, but their loose lips mean that drool is a constant feature in their life. They may not move much, but their ability to leave a wet spot anywhere they rest is unmatched.
Great Dane
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The Great Dane would be the chat’s “gentle giant,” accidentally sending the same message three times because their giant paws keep pressing the wrong button. As one of the tallest dog breeds, their drool reaches places you never thought possible. One head shake can turn your entire living room into a Jackson Pollock painting—except with spit instead of paint.
Basset Hound
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The Basset Hound would be the one who sends messages way too slowly, taking their time with everything while drooling the entire way through. These laid-back dogs have ears practically sweeping the floor and a face that never seems dry. They love their humans but tend to leave behind a signature trail of wetness wherever they go.
Dogue de Bordeaux
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The Dogue de Bordeaux would be the chat’s deep thinker, sending thoughtful but barely readable messages because their lips are too droopy to keep the drool off their phone. This breed is all muscle and loyalty, but their signature loose jowls mean you’ll never escape the need for a mop. If they shake their head near you, consider yourself officially slimed.
Cane Corso
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The Cane Corso would be the serious one in the group chat, keeping everyone in line with their intense presence—while unknowingly sending photos with a smudge of drool on the camera lens. These powerful guardians may look intimidating but have a soft side for their family. They also have a soft side for covering everything in saliva, especially after a good drink of water.
Clumber Spaniel
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The Clumber Spaniel would be the quiet lurker in the group chat, rarely speaking but always present—dripping a little drool along the way. These fluffy, slow-moving dogs were bred for retrieving, but their relaxed nature means they’d rather nap than type. When they contribute, expect a sleepy, drool-soaked selfie with the caption, “Too tired to move.”
The Group Chat You Can’t Escape
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If this group chat were real, it would be a mix of slobbery selfies, chaotic voice messages interrupted by panting, and constant food-related discussions. Someone would always send “accidental” photos of chewed-up shoes, and the typing bubbles would appear endlessly as one dog tries (and fails) to form a coherent thought. Sure, it would be a sticky, drool-filled mess, but it would also be the most entertaining and love-filled chat—don’t expect to get through a conversation without wiping off your screen!
Toledo, United States.
