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7 Telltale Signs You’re A St. Bernard Parent

Written by: Arlene Divina
Arlene Divina, one of the content writers at IHD, loves going on adventures with her adorable fur baby. She now creates informative content for pet parents. Read more
| Published on August 3, 2024

If you’re a St. Bernard parent, you’ve probably experienced some unique and delightful moments that only fellow St. Bernard enthusiasts can truly appreciate. These gentle giants, known for their massive size and sweet temperament, bring a special kind of joy—and a bit of chaos—to your life. From their slobbery kisses to their tendency to take up more than their fair share of the bed, St. Bernards have a way of making their presence known. Let’s explore seven telltale signs that you are indeed a proud parent of one of these lovable mountain dogs.

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1. You’ve Accepted Perpetual Slobber as Part of Your Wardrobe

St. Bernards are known for their impressive drooling capabilities. If you’ve ever had to wipe the drool off the ceiling, the TV remote, or your morning coffee, you might be a St. Bernard parent. These dogs can turn a simple shake of the head into a slobber distribution event, covering everything—and everyone—in their vicinity. You’ve learned to keep towels handy in every room, and you’ve even developed a fondness for the unique “St. Bernard cologne” of doggy drool mixed with outdoor scents. Friends and family might be horrified, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

2. Your Bed Has Become a Dog Bed

St. Bernards love to be close to their humans, and they have an uncanny ability to make even a king-sized bed feel cramped. Despite their size, they seem to believe they’re lap dogs, often snuggling right up against you or draping themselves across your legs. Sharing your bed with a St. Bernard means constantly maneuvering around a furry mountain. You’ve mastered the art of sleeping in odd positions and have grown accustomed to waking up with a paw in your face or a tail in your mouth. A good night’s sleep is secondary to the comfort of your giant snuggle buddy.

3. You’ve Perfected the Art of Making Extra-Large Meals

Feeding a St. Bernard is no small feat. These dogs have voracious appetites, and meal prep can feel like catering a banquet. You’ve become an expert in finding the best deals on high-quality dog food and have perfected the art of portion control to keep your furry friend healthy. Your pantry is stocked with giant bags of kibble, and you probably spend more on dog food than you do on groceries for yourself. Meal times are a grand affair, and you’ve learned to stay clear of the feeding frenzy to avoid getting trampled by your enthusiastic eater.

4. You’ve Resigned Yourself to a Permanent Fur Coating

If you’re a St. Bernard parent, you’ve come to terms with the fact that dog hair is now a permanent fixture in your life. No amount of vacuuming can keep up with the constant shedding, and you’ve accepted that fur-covered furniture is just part of the décor. Lint rollers have become your best friend, and you’ve even developed a method for removing dog hair from your clothes with a combination of tape and patience. You laugh off the astonished looks from visitors when they leave your house covered in a new layer of fur, understanding that it’s all part of the St. Bernard experience.

5. Your Neighbors Know You as “The Person with the Big Dog”

Walking a St. Bernard is a spectacle. These dogs are show-stoppers, and you can’t go anywhere without attracting attention. You’ve gotten used to people stopping you to ask questions, and you’ve even prepared a mental FAQ for curious onlookers. “Yes, they are that big.” “No, they don’t get that much bigger.” “Yes, they’re very gentle.” You’ve become a neighborhood celebrity, known far and wide as the person with the gigantic, friendly dog. Strangers smile and wave, and children point and gasp in awe as you and your St. Bernard stroll down the street.

6. You Have a Collection of Gigantic Dog Toys

St. Bernards need toys that can withstand their powerful jaws and enthusiastic play style. As a result, you’ve amassed an impressive collection of indestructible chew toys, extra-large balls, and oversized stuffed animals. Your home is a treasure trove of dog toys that could double as props for a dinosaur movie. You’ve learned that regular-sized toys are no match for your St. Bernard, and you take pride in finding the biggest, toughest toys available. Your dog’s playtime is an event, and you revel in watching them joyfully tackle their latest toy conquest.

7. You’ve Developed Superhuman Strength (or Close to It)

Handling a St. Bernard requires a certain level of physical prowess. These dogs are strong, and you’ve had to build up your strength just to keep up. Whether it’s lifting them into the car for a vet visit or holding onto the leash when they spot a squirrel, you’ve developed muscles you never knew you had. You might not be a bodybuilder, but you’ve gained a newfound appreciation for your physical capabilities. You’ve mastered the art of controlling a 150-pound dog with grace and confidence, earning the admiration of fellow dog owners and passersby.

Being a St. Bernard parent is a unique and rewarding experience. Despite the slobber, fur, and sheer size, you wouldn’t trade it for anything. These gentle giants bring love, laughter, and a touch of chaos into your life, making every day an adventure.

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