My Toby dog has been ran over & we don't know how to grieve!

I have tears in my eyes from your story.
My little Chewie, was a beautiful rambunctous little 4yo 6.5lb yorkie boy, exactly like yours (bloodline and all) who I found running on the side of the road one day while he was only a year old. OVer that summer of rehabbing him and training him, he changed my life, got me through the recovery of my knee surgeries and helped me heal in more ways than one. together my ex and I raised him for almost 3 years.
Then on one faitful night on dec 31 2014 at 2am, my ex decided without my approval to leave to on her maiden voyage to move out of state – of which we were breaking up and she was moving on, and happened to do so on the coldest day of the year, -14 degrees in colorado that evening. I, having barely come to terms that I was losing Chewie from my daily life, had to deal with that, but ultimately was accepting that he was going with his mommy to a new life. We had gotten into a fight that evening about her impulsitivity that evening as She was nuts for doing not wanting to wait until the next morning and I physically couldn’t stop her from leaving. Turns out that sometime within an hour or two after she left, against my wishes, she ended up sliding her car off of a remote road and into a ravine. She survived the impact, totaled the car which she had closed head concussion/head injury and bruises all over from the airbags, but chewie didn’t survive the impact. she doesn’t remember the accident to this day, but only at some point wandering around in the -11 degree weather and having been picked up by a passer by – miraculously- who then an hour later upon reaching the hospital, she finally remembered “Someone find my dog!”

I found out a day later that she’d been taken to a hospital under a jane doe surname, despite me calling for 6 hours on new years eve trying to find her cvalling every major hospital in southern colorado. Through my frantic attempt that evening, I finally got the statepatrol to report to me that Chewie’s body was found in the car buried underneath the boxes and was there for hours before the state trooper found him and dealt with processing the accident and towing away of the car… That part made me more upset than anything. not knowing if the little man was killed on impact, as I’d hoped, or if he suffered in the moments/hours afterwards, trapped in the car. This haunts me more than anything today, even when I think about it. I don’t what’s worse, being their for your pet when they die, or not and having to rationalize what happened and trying to have closure.
I found out the next day the his body was taken to the near animal shelter. I never got the chance to see his body because I was distraught and devistated. I couldn’t deal with it. I was more concerned about my ex at the time and the new job I started 2 days after the accident -which I was inevitably fired 20 days later becuase of my fragile state..

Chewie was exactly like your little one was. Same blood line. same dominate, rambunctuous, little terror-er that yours sounded like.everyone smiled and aww’ed at him when they saw him and I had nothing but compliments from him every day when he brightened the lives of many people who saw him.
He was truely one of a kind. I grieved hard for 6 months. My life changed for the worse. I couldn’t socialized with my neighbors in our common area, because there was no more chewie.
And then one day, 6 months to the day of chewie’s passing, I found Lady in the dumbfriends league -an animal shelter we have here.
From the moment I saw this little 5lb undernurished aussie terrier/yorkie mix, who did ALL the exact mannerisms and play-behavior things that chewie used to, except the outgoing social butterfly personality. I couldn’t leave her there another day from the 30 long miserable days she’d spent waiting for me. So I HAD to take her home with me. She ended up gaining almost 4 pounds and a year and a half after having her, she’s changed my life again for the better. She to this day is a little bit traumatized from the abandonment issues that her old family at 3 years old just dumped her off at the shelter, as the kids would pull her tails and ears, and the adult in the household was an incompetant idiot. but she’s had zero issues with me to this date, inspite of the “behavior problems” the shelter deemed her to have….
The major difference between my two dogs is lady’s personality is shy and indifferent to all people and dogs. her aussie terrier blood line has her hyperfocused on chasing squirrels, rodents, bunnies, mix, ducks – anything that runs from her. Has nothing to do with other dogs whatsoever. whereas Chewie was the opposite socially. HE didn’t care squirrels and about the other things, only wanted to socialize with other dogs, growl at them saying he was “in charge” to 100lb dogs, and go up to unfamiliar people, and do nothing by play fetch and tugawar the entire time.

while I still dearly miss chewie and can’t look at his pictures or videos without breaking down, I’m glad I had another chance to move on with another dog who’s Chewie-like, who exemplifies most/all the qualifites I loved about my old dog.

in your situation, the only way is to move on with another little special friend. take that advice! DO it! don’t even second guess yourself. honor your past dog by moving on with another one exactly like him. Your dog would have wanted you to be happy and is looking at you in the afterlife, wanting to see you give another dog the affection you gave him. I’m sure on level he’d live vicariously through the next yorkie boy – as the next dog will do some of the exact things that Toby used to. Lady ended up doing identical things that chewie used to do..

If it helps, mane you next yorkie boy Toby in honor of the one that couldn’t live out his full life. I know that sounds funny or odd, but that move alone might help you more than you realize. because the next time you call out for Toby, another little spirit will come to you.

Hang in there, it will get better as time goes on. either way a couple of months, or tomorrow go out and find your next yorkie boy. find one of the same golden/bronze bloodline that Toby was. best luck, sorry for the loss. but these experiences make us more appreciative for the limited time we have for the people and animals we love. never let a day go by where you take your dog for granted and live each day as if it’s the only you have with your dog.

Rip Chewie 2010-2014

Dear TobyDog;

I was so saddened to read your post. What you experienced I have long worried about with our Yorkie, Violet. I am so very sorry you are in such pain right now, but I can totally understand it. What I have to offer may not be of much help, but perhaps in time it may make more and more sense. I have had 2 cats. One I had for 15 years, before he was ravaged by cancer and I had to put him down. The second I had for 22 years, and he died a peaceful death on my lap. Both times I was pretty sure I was not going to be ready for a new pet anytime soon. I am 53 years old now, and realizing how life is short, both for us Humans, relatively speaking, and certainly for our canine friends, I feel that the very best thing one can do is open our hearts and our homes to a pet, if we are ever without one. I am not saying be the stereotypical dog or cat man or lady, but that if you do not have one, there is most certainly a dog dying in his own way to have a home. So, I am proposing to you that not as a means of replacing sweet Toby, but as a means of HONORING him…and allowing him to live on in a way, through a new special friend. Toby will always live on – don’t worry about that. And I am sure that up at the Rainbow Bridge, Toby would be panting his approval. So be kind to yourself and your family. Don’t grieve and feel an absence. Save a life – provide a new home for a dog that needs one. Enjoy the presence of a wonderful creature, while continuing to honor Toby with your fond remembrances. It WILL get easier. Hang in there. Little Toby was a sweetheart, judging from those pictures. But he would understand and appreciate your helping one of his brethren. My very best regards to you.