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BREAKING: Fantastic, Flying, Feces-Picking Fairies Not Fiction After All!

Written by: Stephanie Maguire
Stephanie Maguire is a writer for She loves animals so much that she started her own pet-sitting business in 2017, and goes out of her way to point-out and pet every single dog she sees.Read more
| Published on March 31, 2023

With all of today’s modern technology, you’d think it would have happened sooner. But capturing a few fluttering fairies was even harder than anyone expected. After all, fairies are known for being extremely elusive. Now, thanks to the best minds in science and engineering joining forces with those who study fairy folklore it’s finally been done. 

And they’re putting the newly captured creatures to excellent use.

Now, flies aren’t the only thing you may catch a glimpse of fluttering around your dog’s droppings. Fairies aren’t only found in folklore anymore, and you may actually be able to spot them circling around some dog poop in your city. 

It doesn’t matter the size of the doggie doo-doo, as the fairies are fully capable of feats of incredible strength. They do have magical powers, after all. Not only can the captured fairies lift large loads, but they are also capable of disposing of the doo-doo discreetly and in an environmentally friendly fashion.  

With a little bit of fairy dust, they’re formulating the dog poop into fertilizer that’s great for your garden. The fairies are then distributing it amongst the “fairy gardens” that are being made to honor them and their hard work, picking up poop. They already have quite the “fairy fanbase” of people who are extremely excited that the fairies are helping protect our planet.

But fairies are also well-known for being sneaky tricksters, and some of them have been dropping doggie bags on the doorsteps of some “poopetrators” who simply refuse to pick up their pup’s poop.

Where Were The Fairies Found?

Even in the modern age, fairy faith has remained especially alive and well in Ireland, Cornwall, Wales, and Scotland. This makes sense, as Celtic influences have played a major part in its prevalence. So, it only seemed natural to search for them there. However, it was in the Scottish Highlands that they were able to make the most captures.

Why Fairies?

Why would they want to capture fairies in the first place? Because it was going to take nothing short of supernatural influence to scoop up all the left-behind land mines. Despite there being copious evidence on the detriment that doggie doo-doo can have on animals and the environment, people still seem hesitant about its removal. And who cares extremely deeply about the earth? Fairies, of course.

Fighting For Fairy Freedom 

But not everyone is extremely enthusiastic about this modern-day development. Some people aren’t pleased with the fact that they have forced fairies to do hard labor. It wasn’t even very long ago that we weren’t even completely convinced of their existence. Now, they’re putting these beautiful beings to work.

The signs have been created and the demands have been made. People are picketing. So perhaps this new practice will be disbanded as quickly as it was created.

Interested in seeing if this new fairy-feces service is available in your area? Check by zip code here. 

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