Are you tired of feeling like your dog is the only one who doesn’t act like his world revolves around his owner? Does it feel like your dog is the only one at the dog park that never comes? Or maybe she’s the last to respond to your cue in obedience class?
When this happens, it’s easy to feel like you are in a one-sided relationship, you might even start complaining to your friend’s about he never gives you attention anymore, never comes when you need him, and doesn’t seem to remember all the fun you had together. Everything else in world is more exciting – he’s moved on and left you in the past.
First off, it’s not true – for two reasons.
- You are not the only dog owner who feels this frustration. In fact, almost every dog owner has felt this way at one point in their doggy relationship.
- Your dog DOES still LOVE you. The bond that was created with your dog when he was young or when the relationship was new, is still there.
Like all relationships, dog-owner ones have their ups and downs. Usually when we get a puppy, we become their “world.” After all, they just lost their mom and litter-mates and so they cling to the warm body that brought them home, feeds them, and pets them. As they get older, however, they become more adventurous and suddenly they do not want to be exclusive. They want to explore that new world they just learned about and meets its inhabitants, including other dogs and (gasp) people. In fact, those new people are more exciting than you.
While you may feel like your dog wants to break up with you in some sappy rom-com scene, never fear. You just need to get the magic back.
Getting the Magic Back
So how do you win-over your wayward pup? It’s actually pretty easy if you know the secrets.
Act Aloof. Just like us, dogs want what they can’t have. If your dog is pulling on the leash, ignoring you when off leash, won’t come when you call, etc. It’s time to walk away…Literally. If you walk away, and act interested in something else (making loud, exciting noises works well or pretend to be eating his treats).
All of a sudden, you are interesting again and your dog will come running to see what you are “up to.” That’s when you bring out the praise and start paying attention to him again.
Take Away Everything. If your teenager did not need you for money, food, or a ride, would they ever speak to you? Probably not. Think of your dog as your teenager. So, if you want attention from them then you need to be the source of everything they want.
This means pick-up all the toys, no free feeding (leave water of course!), and no free-time outside. Instead, if your dog wants to play, they have to come to you to get that toy. They want outside time? They have to interact with you out there. If you are the source of everything they want and need – you will have their attention.
Don’t Nag. How irritating is to have the younger sibling that won’t leave you alone, or that person at school that is just a bit too clingy of a friend? After a while, you just ignore and avoid them. If you nag your dog – repeat cues 7 times hoping they will respond, give them extra cues (a hand signal after a verbal) to try and get them to cooperate, finally fishing out a treat to try and lure them, or maybe even chasing after your dog if they left you altogether – your dog learns one thing – to ignore you.
He learns that if he doesn’t respond the first time, you will just keep asking. Essentially he is learning to tune you out, just like older siblings do their younger ones.
Praise & Reward. Finally, what do we all want in life – someone to love us, praise us, and give us rewards. So when your dog does start giving you attention – praise and reward him! Make him want to keep coming back by ensuring a positive experience when he is interacting with you. Just remember to start varying your rewards as his attention increases, so you are not dependent on them forever.
Follow these secrets to have a better, more meaningful relationship with your dog.
About the Author
Based in Wilsonville, Ore., animal lover Kristina N. Lotz is a Certified Professional Dog Trainer – Knowledge Assessed (CPDT-KA) and works as a full time trainer. She is the founder of, A Fairytail House, a unique all-positive all-sport dog training facility that helps rescue dogs in her area and provides free seminars and training classes for the community. In her spare time, she trains and competes in herding, agility, obedience, rally, and conformation with her Shetland Sheepdogs. She smartly married a Veterinary Technician, who helps keep the fur kids happy and healthy, and provides a quick resource for articles.
Toledo, United States.
