Need help. I can't go on without my dog.

The Rainbow Bridge, doesn’t replace heaven. The idea is that your pet waits there, playing with other pets, also waiting for their owners to come for them, so they can walk across that bridge into Heaven together. God takes care of all animals and I’m sure whoever came up with The Rainbow Bridge idea had that in mind to give owners what they all need when they lose a 4 legged family member….the hope of seeing them again someday, and I believe we will.

I can’t imagine anyone trying to be evil and “take” your pet from you. Maybe you were wanting to hang onto her much longer than they felt was good for her. I understand the grief, heartbreak, helplessness, and loneliness you’re going through.

I don’t know exactly how you feel, no one does, but I lost my baby a few months ago and felt like my world had turned over, even though we had 2 other dogs and got another one a couple of weeks later. Even the new one didn’t help ease the pain. It took about 6 months until I found another tiny one (3# grown), who will NEVER take Yoko’s place, but has definitely found a huge spot in my heart, helping me let go of losing Yoko. I know I WILL see her again, along with all of the other pets I’ve lost over the years.

My prayers are with you that you eventually find peace, knowing you did the right thing, knowing your baby will never be ill again and possibly find another one who will help relieve that pain.

I wrote you a long response & then I had a glitch on my phone & lost it. I hate it when that happens!
Anyway, this is what I wanted to share with you. The Facebook group called GRIEVING DOG LOVERS!
https://m.facebook.com/groups/379838168787694?ref=bookmarks
I wrote about the loss of my beloved dog Pudgie. He died of Pancreatitis, an illness that I was totally unfamiliar with,thus I did not recognize the signs when he grew I’ll early on. He died in his sleep the night before I was supposed to come & bring him home. I was devastated, so I totally get how you are feeling.
Please visit that group. They are very kind and will help you in any way that they can.
I will pray for you and your beloved baby.
God bless you both,
Marlene

Here is the link to the Facebook site that I told you about in my previous post:

https://m.facebook.com/groups/379838168787694?ref=bookmarks

It’s Pudgie and one of the rescue kittens that I was fostering at the time. Pudgie was great with all of the animals & helped me socialize them, in case they went to a new home that had a dog.
He is so very much missed!

I don’t know why the link is not showing. It looks like some of the text is also missing. I’ll try one more time. Otherwise you will have to search Facebook for that site GRIEVING DOG LOVERS. Sorry about that:

target:”https://m.facebook.com/groups/379838168787694?ref=bookmarks”

Michelle, I too had to put my dog to sleep. We had been together for 12 years. I had no clue she had cancer of the bladder. I knew she was acting a little different, but I thought she was getting her Senior years, and just slowing down. I was in Vegas on vacation, my best friend was taking care of her in my home. Sadie started bleeding, and Sue (my friend) took her to Emergency. They couldn’t diagnose her problem, so they took blood, and told Sue to bring her back the next day, which she did. They did an Ultra Sound of her bladder and found the tumor, which had grown within that 2 days. When I got home, I talked to the Vet, he told me Sadie could not be treated, the tumor had grown even more. They advised pain pills, a cancer pill, and take her home and love her. I was in shock. I had Sadie for 3 weeks after diagnosis. I cancelled all my appointments, and just stayed with her. Within a week, she had her first extreme bleeding bout. Sue helped me put her in the bathtub, wrap her in a towel, and that stopped the bleeding. Sadie was so brave, she never changed, as sick as she was, she walked, ate, drank her water, and never showed how sick she was. She bled two more times, and the last time, so excessive, I knew I had to take her in for her last visit to the Vet. I too went over every minute of the 3 weeks we had together. Did I do right taking her in, should I have waited, all the same things you went through, but I knew she couldn’t go through another bleeding episode, but no matter what we think we did or did not do, it was time, we did the right thing for our dogs, not for us. I too will never have another dog, as much as I love dogs, Sadie was a Schnauzer, a beautiful silver and white, I could never replace her. I’m older, I couldn’t go through that pain again, and probably would not outlive another dog. My room mate has a little Fox Terrier, completely different from Sadie, but she helps me with my grief. I can tell you, I know your pain, it does get easier, but you will never get totally over the pain of missing your little dog.
I would recommend getting another dog, you can love a pet again, you will be surprised. You look younger, so you have years you could spend and love another little girl or guy puppy. Rescuing a dog is the most wonderful thing you could do for yourself and for the dog. I wish you well, and hope that time will help you get through this sad part of your life. Joyce

Michelle,
I am so sorry to hear your story and the pain you are in. I wish I could help with more than just my words, but please know you are not alone. When we returned to Kentucky from DC, we rescued a Shar Pei. It wasn’t long until we rescued another. We had a great boy and a wonderful girl. After about 2 years, the boy developed irritable bowel syndrome. We did everything we could do, and he was such a strong boy. During a year and a half, he never failed to get outside using the dog door. Sometimes he would eat, sometimes not. We changed diets, meds, whatever it took. For a while we scrambled eggs and ham for him. Then in the matter of a couple weeks, he lost a lot of weight and we could tell he was worse. We talked between ourselves and our vet. No one can say when it is the right time to stop their suffering even though we did not see pain. One evening I could tell he was weak, and I knew the next day would have to be the visit to the vet we dreaded. I talked to him, and cried, and told him he did not have to stay. I told him it was okay to leave if he needed to. A couple hours later, laying on the ottoman, he raised up, took a big breath and passed away. Our hearts were broken. We had rescued another girl in the meantime thinking this would help our girl. Still reeling from his passing, two weeks later we learned our first girl had leukemia. Not treatable. Eight months later, just before Christmas a year ago, she too passed away. Again we fought with ourselves about when to say when. So just know, there is no real answer that is clear to us. I ask that you try to let go of the circumstances surrounding the decision and know that your baby is without pain. Know that you will see her again. I know I will. I know you love animals…. so I urge you to get involved. Help a rescue if you can. There are transports that rescues use and you drive for an hour or so leg of a trip to get a rescued animal from place to place. This is a great service that you can provide a rescue animal without commitment. We transport often, as we now have fostered rescues and have 5 dogs in the house at this time! We fostered until we fell in love and kept them. We can have no more, so we transport. I tell you, with 5 of my favorite breed in the house, rarely is there a day go by that I do not think of our precious boy and girl. We will be heartbroken again, but we now know that we rescue a dog that is in need, and we give it all the love, attention and care that we can. We give them a life they have not had before and that has to make our hearts proud and help relieve our pain. Best of luck to you my friend! Hugs!

I went through a similar guilt, I never got a dog until I was 37 yrs old, my Grandmothers dog had puppies and I took one. I absolutely fell in love with her and couldn’t imagine all the love and happiness she gave me. When she was 8 yrs old I took her to the Vet for regular checkup and she had a fever. Long story short, within a two week period she became so sick so fast by the time I took her down state to the University Vet and they found the leukemia & pancreatic cancer. Both Vets told me her cancer was so far advanced chemo would not help. She was a 90lb shepherd mix, could no longer get up on her own and her head would bob uncontrollably at times. I was convinced that no thing could be done for her and took her to the Vet one last time to put her down. I have often thought I should have tried chemo dispite what the Vets said because it may have helped or at least gave her more time with me at home. I lived that girl to pieces and she took a part of me, I am still heart broken but I am so grateful for the 8 years I had with her. You can’t beat yourself up for listening to trained professionals, even they are wrong sometimes, let’s pray that the ones you had to deal with are not intentaully evil or they should not be in that profession.
I believe dogs are one of the most loyal, caring, forgiving creatures they most certainly go to heaven. You don’t know how much pain another month of living would have caused her, it may have been really bad. As for your dreams, you know our dreams are a reflection of you own mind and thoughts and her running away from you is a reflection of your own guilt you’re feeling, it’s not her angry at you. In fact, if I were a medium I bet I would see her sitting right by your side worried because your so sad.
Like you, I wasn’t going to get another dog because no other could replace her so I volunteered at the local county shelter to walk those unwanted dogs just so they could get even a few minutes a day in fresh air out of their jails. Doing a little good for those who don’t have a good life will help you to heal. After three weeks of volunteering, they brought this pitiful, abused, hurt, sick little puppy who they thought was not going to survive. I asked to foster him back to health afraid he would not get better at the shelter and they told me no he was too sick I couldn’t take him. Two weeks later the shelter director came to me and asked me if I would just take him home for good not to foster so i did. With a lot of love, medicine and vet visits he is very much better running around the house after a year ago he could hardley walk. I love this little guy to pieces now, he is nothing like my other dog, I still have her collar, tags and paw print shrine, she will never be forgotten but I know she wouldn’t want me sad forever and to nurse to health my new little guy helped me with what life is really about. I pray for your healing and wish you the best.

I understand losing your fur child. I’ve lost one of mine, too, and it hurt me far more than I expected it to.
In April 2006, I brought home two 9-week old American Staffordshire Terrier littermates. I didn’t intend to get two, but they were the last of the litter and I couldn’t separate them. They are sisters, and given my strong interest in law and their breed, I named them Liberty and Justice. Liberty had blue eyes and seemed to be allergic to lots of things. Justice was the runt, and had to be resuscitated at birth.
Two years ago, Justice’s health started falling apart. After doing research and testing through her vet, she was diagnosed with Cushing’s Syndrome. We got her on meds and she got better – she was even more youthful than she’d been for years.
Liberty started having issues with her knees at about the same time. They were always a little dodgey, but her left patella finally got to the point where it would click any time she walked. She didn’t let it get her down – she still got around as much as her sister. And then she started hiding out in the bedroom more and more. On one occasion, as she was getting off the couch to head back there, I noticed a large dark spot on the inside of her left thigh. I followed her to the room, lifted her leg, and saw a huge hematoma. I took her to the vet the next day. During the regular check up stuff, the vet heard a new murmur in her heart. A chest x-ray was done, and huge tumors were found in her lungs, pressing on her heart. Apparently, hematomas can develop as a sort of histamine response to tumors. The vet felt that, based on the size, location, and aggressiveness of the tumor, and Liberty’s age (9 yrs 8 mths), the best I could do is take her home, love her, and watch for signs of further respiratory distress – at which time I would need to bring her back for what would be her last visit.
I wasn’t ready to hear that. I took her home and stressed about it every moment. I would check on her several times a day, and text my son for updates while at work. After 3 days of this, I went in to check on her and found blood on her foreleg. I lifted her face, and saw that it was trickling from her nostril. I ran to tell my boyfriend, and we called the vet and loaded her in the truck. It was time. When we got there, I thought of how uncomfortable the tile floors are in the vet office (inside of a pet store). Liberty poked a sherpa blanket with her nose, which bloodied it, so I bought it and laid it down for her. I also bought her some fancy pants dog cookies and ice cream. We laid on the ground and cried as we told her how much we loved her, that she was such a good girl, and that we’d see her soon. That was October 31, 2015. It still makes me cry to this day. I’m crying right now as I recall it, sitting on my couch with Justice beside me. And I wonder how much time I have with her, as her 10th birthday approaches (February 19) and the Cushing’s Syndrome is held tenuously at bay.
There is no magic turning point. But with time, it will lessen. Talk to anyone who will listen, as long as you need to. Do some volunteering at animal shelters. I suggest that you wait awhile before trying to fill the void with another pet, since you need to get through the grieving process first. Then, if you choose to take in another pet, you will be able to care for that pet fully.
I loved-and still love-Liberty, but I’ll never be able to replace her. I love her sister Justice, too, but she’s no replacement either. Like kids, they are each unique and irreplaceable.
I wish you all of the best. Trust that you will be reunited with all of your lost loved ones, regardless of whether or not the have feet, paws, claws, hooves, or scales. I’ve heard that heaven forbids pets, but I can’t believe that. They are our companions, we share love and time with them, tears and laughs. If heaven forbids me from seeing them, then I’d rather go where my pets go. Take care, fellow human.
Here are two pics of Libby on her last day, her final resting place, and her and Justice when I brought them home at 9 weeks.

Well, first Im so sorry for your loss. This is my first time as an adult, being a owner of a four legged bundle of joy. I cannot imagine how you hurt right now. I was listening to Mark Lawry (a religious comedian) he stated that he can settle this argument once and for all about animals in heaven. He claims Jesus is coming back on a white horse, the lion will lay with the lamb, etc. You get the drift. I believe Heaven will be filled with everyone and everything we loved and cherished. I also want to touch on the other part of your pain putting your little one to sleep to get him out of pain. You may feel it was too soon. Believe me, as one that lives everyday and every minute of my life in pain there is nothing too soon about getting out of pain there is no such thing. Soon isn’t soon enough. You did the right thing my friend. Remember allthe years your pet brought you of love and happiness and one day you will pet and hold your precious one again.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I’ve talked to many priests who have explained to me that Heaven is perfect bliss and God in His infinite compassion will want you to be reunited with your dog and all your loved ones so that you can be perfectly happy. What kind of a God would deny one of his children their beloved pet? That doesn’t even make sense to me. I imagine St. Francis is taking care of my dogs until I get there. The explanation about the Rainbow Bridge doesn’t contradict the presence of Heaven. Keep in mind, God is not constrained by time or place.

Rest easy, you’ll be reunited with your dog. God bless, Mary

My email is arcticmom77@yahoo.com if you want to continue this discussion. 🙂 Mary

Arcticmom77@yahoo.com

Thank you everyone for your support, your kind words of encouragement and your shared stories. I am still struggling, and after calling the suicide help line, I am now in therapy. Hopefully, those visits will pull me out of this dark place. I just really miss my dog immensely and the guilt and grief are unbearable. Blessings to all of your pets, and I hope they live long and wonderful lives. michelle

I am so sorry for your loss! Don’t punish yourself for when you put her down. There is never a good time for this. I lost my little girl Makya in August and was just as devastated as you are. Makya was 12 and had the spirit of a two year old. One day while walking her she collapsed out of no where. We took her to the vet and she was diagnosed with an enlarged heart. She was put on meds and the vet said she would be fine. Within two weeks her condition deteriorated and her last visit to the vet we had to put her down. Her tongue turned blue and she was gasping for air. So we put her down and it was the worst decision we ever had to make. If she had been sick and weak, then our decision would of been easier. She went from a healthy girl and within two weeks she was gone. Time will help ease your pain. But please, get another furbaby. You need someone to love! We now have another poodle and love her to death. She will never replace Makya, but you love each one in their own special way. Please don’t blame yourself, you did nothing wrong. God bless you!

Hi Michelle,
I hope you are still reading this. I’ve just stumbled on your post and I completely understand your anger. Mine passed away almost 2 years now and for awhile, I was really angry at the vets who couldn’t save her. I also blame God sometimes. I still feel hurt. But honestly, if it didn’t happen, I would not have my current babies. She left so that they can have a loving home. Try to see it that way. Nothing is more precious than life. I know the pain doesn’t ever go away. But finding a new love will help you pick up the broken pieces. I’m still mending and I don’t know if it will ever heal. But we should try to make the most of life to help and save more animals like our babies.