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UPDATE: Family Foster-Fails After Writing Hilarious, F-Bomb-Packed Adoption Ad

Written by: Scott H
Scott Haiduc is the Director of Publishing for iHeartDogs, iHeartCats and The Hero Company. When not working, Scott spends his time on the farm, taking care of his animals and crops.Read more
| Published on March 17, 2022

UPDATE 3/18/2022 –

No matter how mischievous a dog is, they can always find a way to win your heart! Shortly after Christine Clauder posted a brutally honest description of her foster dog, Hank the “Hellion,” many people applied to adopt him. Yet, some complications occurred with the shelter that was supposed to be helping with his adoption.

Hank ended up staying at Clauder’s home for eight months longer than she’d planned for. After that much time went by, the family fell in love with him despite all his quirks and bad habits. So, they foster-failed and decided to keep the rambunctious pup forever!

Dog and cat napping together

“This started out as a nameless stray dog with an abundance of energy who went viral because of his shenanigans and amazing personality, ending with a huge crowd of supporters who’ve grown to love Hank just as much as we do. This is the Happy Ending everybody has been waiting for, even if it was an unexpected outcome (OK – unexpected for us. Probably very expected for everybody else.),” Clauder wrote on Facebook.

Clauder has now updated Hank’s website so it’s called “” They’re selling Hank-themed products to raise money for organizations that helped them throughout their fostering adventures. Hank’s fans can also continue to follow his journey on Facebook.

Hellion Dog Adopted

Original Post –

Houston foster dog mom Christine Clauder is desperate to find the perfect home for her foster dog, Hank — so much that she created a hilarious, expletive-packed website highlighting his maxed-out antics and energy. 

The Siberian Black Mouth Cur is currently up for adoption, and Clauder is hoping to find his forever home — and fast. The website is titled “please adopt this hellion,” and features information about the overactive pooch. 

“Trying to get this dog adopted has been like trying to find a Tickle-Me-Elmo during Christmas ’96,” the website states. “His foster mom has several other critters which are tiny. After experiencing his always-on personality, they’re JUST NOT HERE FOR IT. We’re all tired of Hank. Not because we don’t love him, we’re just TIRED. It’s like he drank ALL OF OUR COFFEE.”

The website is packed with photos of Hank, who has bright blue eyes like the ocean. It’s also packed with plenty of F-bombs. 

Image: Christine Clauder/ Facebook

“When he’s not being a destructive [expletive], he’s actually pretty cute,” the website adds. 

For those who might take the silly website the wrong way, Clauder included a disclaimer at the top to let viewers know that the information on the website is “highly exaggerated for comical effect.”

“The kind of people put off by it would not be a good match for him,” Clauder said on the site. “I’m not saying that you HAVE to enjoy cursing, but Hank is not for the faint of heart. My goal is not JUST to get him adopted – if it was, I could have played up his beautifully unique eyes, happy-go-lucky goofiness, and complete loyalty – but the ultimate goal is a lifetime match.”

This isn’t the first time that a desperate foster mom has taken the brutally honest route to try to get a dog adopted. Earlier this year, Prancer the Chihuahua was described as a “haunted Victorian child in the body of a small dog that hates men and children” in his adoption advertisement — and it actually helped him find the perfect forever home in the long run. 

The website that Clauder created has already gotten Hank a ton of attention. As a result, several interested people have gotten in touch with her to find out more about adopting Hank. 

Image: Christine Clauder/ Facebook

His high-energy antics include being a velcro dog that’s so loyal he’ll never leave your side. 

“Cooking?” the website asks. “He’ll f— stand in between your legs and trip you up while you’re holding knives.”

The adoption advertisement also states that Hank is already neutered — because “nobody needs to be subjected to any of his hellspawn.”

The hilarious, tongue-in-cheek adoption advertisement is gaining traction online. With enough views, Clauder is hopeful that Hank will find the perfect forever home.

Image: Christine Clauder/ Facebook

Someone who is active and has plenty of yard space for the hyper dog to run around and burn off energy would be perfect for Hank. You can read all about Hank at

Hank is available for adoption through Friends for Life Animal Shelter in Houston — but with any luck, he will hit the ground running to his forever home before he knows it. 

H/T: Yahoo
Featured Image: Facebook

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